What a great crutch!
Occasionally I get a link to an article on the Onion. When I do, I usually end up cracking up. Today was no different. I received a link to this story at the Onion about a Science Fiction writer.
In Fournier’s novel, the idea that particles of energy can appear suddenly out of nowhere is used to explain events that might otherwise seem random, such as how a starship achieves light speed despite the total destruction of its engines in battle, why a loyal first officer suddenly decides to spy on behalf of the aliens who murdered his family, and what became of the security captain whose Southern accent was getting annoying to work with.
As I read this, I found myself thinking “I’ve read this guy’s novel!” Or at least novels very much like it.
So, what crutch is your pet peeve? Do you find yourself doing things that you know aren’t reflective of good writing but are easy? I know I do!
Did you read about the princess from Home Planet who fell in love with an alien? This alien, Redon, came from a great white north star and wisked the princess, Jatrecta, away to that outer galaxy from which he came. Not only that, but he took the young prince,MacKnukklehead, his issue, with him. The GOOD king, mKhuludon, waited for his heir to return for the frequent bonkathons, but was worried that those alien monarchs, Olfort and Canucktress, would delay his return. The GOOD king was happy for Olfort and his Dutchess turned queen, but secretly planned an assualt to “liberate” his grandson if they refused to release them as promised. I sure hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did. I’m just saying’.
Perspective is an interesting thing. The way I heard the story – the evil King Mkhuludon captured Redon, and held him captive – when Redon and Jatrecta dreamed of being deliriously happy in Buttertarton and watching the young prince blossom in the superior north star education system:o)
No?
,,, and then the evil winter baroness, Baroness van Debrabell, planted a wicked rumor about mKhuludon and the peaceful Home Planet. So the home schooling right wing mobsters (like mKhuludon and nGogokind) sprang into action to get the truth to Prince Redon and shouted down many liberals, having little respect for their socialists plans. “We must save the prince from Molsonland- if we can only get some Timmy’s Brandy in him before he reaches the Niagra Belt”, ordered GOOD King mKhuludon.
We’ll have to wait to see how this saga ends. In the meanwhile, “eh” to all our dear friends in The Great White North.
Thank you both, King mKhuludon and Baroness van Debrabell, for the giggles.
(Now, back to the war council, planning our defense–since the truly alien king has tipped us off. Eh!)
Her Royal Canucktress
I suppose all will be happy to hear that the young prince is safely ensconced in his royal sleeping place, having missed it in his long (but not long enough) hiatus in Buttertarton. Our stealthy escape was nearly thwarted when, alerted by Her Royal Highness, the Duchess turned Queen, the guards of the border to the Home Planet insisted upon a search of our getaway car. However, they were easily distracted by the antics of our young heir. All is well as we made our escape complete with Timmies and Aero bars to tide us over until the next daring adventure.
Drat! Foiled again.
Oh well, there’s always next year.
In case any of you revisit this portion, I will defrief you. The young prince reported to GOOD King mKhuludon and Queen nGogokind upon his re-entry. The prince was found to be in a satisfactory condition except he frequently tried to sign to me in some alien dialect with which I am unfamiliar. I understand that Olfort had something to do with this.
We here in Wild Wonderful Home Planet are delighted to share our grandson with those who we know love him as well as we. I think we all deserve a buttertart.