www.andrewmackay.net:

I have the unenviable reputation of being a bit of a nitpicker when it comes to words. I spent three or so years working for a contract publishing house. You know how, when you want to build a house on your own, you hire a contractor, right? Well, when people wanted to publish a book, they hired us. So, for three years, my entire working life was caught up with words and the sometimes-hilarious ways that people use them. (Just realized I’m totally rationalizing my nitpicky-ness. That’s kind of funny). Anyway, I’m working hard to not be such a nitpicker in regular conversation.

But, when I see something like this:

I can’t help but play spot the errors. You can play along in the comments.

I read this article by way of Brandon Sanderson mentioning it in a Twitter post. It’s all about how royalties and advances work in the publishing industry, put together by an editorial assistant.

The most interesting part for me was the section on returns:

Reserve against returns: This is the reason you won’t have gotten every royalty dollar you were due during a period. Your publisher has a right to retain up to a certain percentage of your royalties–the actual percentage varies on your contract and on the situation–against future returns from booksellers. Returns are pretty complicated; we’ve talked about them before, but they’re always hard to wrap our heads around. These are big, corporate returns, not the kind of customer-by-customer returns (“My Aunt Wanda bought this cookbook for me but I don’t like Russian casseroles” etc). Basically, there are scenarios wherein a publisher may print and sell 10,000 requested copies of a book to book sellers, and, if expectation was wrong, receive all 10,000 copies back, for which they’d have to relinquish the entire dollar amount they originally earned for those books. Alas for returnable industries.

I just can’t understand how you can have a functioning business model where any day a product you thought was sold comes flying back into your warehouse, possibly in terrible condition (if my days in publishing are remembered correctly), and the “buyer” expects all their money back.

I’m with him, alas for returnable industries. One day we’ll have to dialog a little bit about various ways of getting content to readers without going through traditional bookstores — not that I want to cut them out. There just seems to be a multitude of opportunities to think differently about selling books with technology advancing the way it is.

I feel as though I’ve read more writing advice than I can possibly parse together and make sense of. You want the reader to feel comfortable, like the style is familiar. But it needs to be unique. But if it’s too out there, no one will want to read it.

Then you start to try to figure out how to pitch your book, and it’s more of the same. Your pitch needs to establish that other books like yours are being published. Be careful to express what makes your book unique, though. Again, not off the wall… no one wants to publish off the wall.

All of this because writers are aiming to get their product published via a business model that is challenged by modern technologies and marketing schemes and other forms of media. I think the only position more difficult to be in than the writer’s is the acquisitions editor.

“What are you going to do today, Mr. Editor?”

“Oh, I’m at a conference listening to pitches. Some won’t be in my genre, some will be out there, some I’ll like the sound of but will be terrible on paper. Maybe, just maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll find one that I can acquire. Oh, and everyone I say no to will be upset.” Tough job.

Anyway, this is just me, crystallizing some of my thoughts on this whole process. And, I have a secret weapon. I have figured out exactly how to make readers, editors, and agents all immediately stop and take notice of my manuscript or my pitch. I’m going to start it with the most familiar phrase in all of North America, currently.

“Warning… your automobile’s warranty may have already expired.” And then, when I have their attention, I’ll tell them how great a book I’ve written. Or sell them a warranty. Or something.