I know! How about 5 good reasons to have a hockey stick around the house:

1. A hockey stick is an incredibly useful tool for icicle removal from your eaves. Particularly if your eaves are overflowing with ice. (How’d that happen? I think it probably started with the end of the eaves being frozen in snow, then what little run-off there was just froze on top of it. That’s my theory, anyway.)

2. A hockey stick is great for reaching toys that have managed to find their way all the way underneath the couch or the bed. Can’t reach it with your arm? Don’t grab for the broom… get a hockey stick! Brooms are for guys who play curling.

3. A hockey stick gives you the aura of a hockey player. Particularly in areas of the world where they don’t play a lot of hockey… like, say, West Virginia. My neighbors probably think I was a superstar in another life!

4. A hockey stick is useful for getting rid of crab apples in your yard. Particularly if your neighbor isn’t home. Enough said.

5. Last, but certainly not least, it’s a good idea to keep a hockey stick around the house in case… a hockey game breaks out. It hasn’t happened to me yet, but… any day now, someone will knock at my door and say “Wanna play some hockey?” After all, Kevin Costner’s baseball players walked out of a corn field. C’mon. If that can happen, random people could show up at my door wanting to play hockey. I eagerly await the day.