Now Playing: Satellite Soul / Equal to the Fall
There are those who merely listen ’cause they think they cannot sing;
there are those who join the music and they become free – and if your
story doesn’t wind up ending happy after all, there’s a grace that’s
there, it’s everywhere, and it’s equal to the fall…
I was… am still, really… a total sucker for any band that used a Gin Blossoms-esque guitar sound. So, when I found Satellite Soul’s first album back in 1998 or 1999, I was in love. I still am. The song writing is very good too.
This lyric was rolling around in my head tonight. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea that the most important thing about me might not be some arc that I’m creating in my life, but the arc that God is accomplishing in the world. In that arc, maybe I’m a smaller arc, or maybe I’m a point of light. But either way, the big story isn’t my story.
I’m not programmed to believe that, by the way. I’m inclined to think that I’m the most important thing on the earth. While human beings have probably always been inclined that way, I think the 20th/21st Century version is less inhibited in its inclination. Our fathers had bosses; their fathers had “the company”; their fathers had worse, back to when they were indentured servants or slaves. Thery had a clear place in this world based on where and to whom they were born.
Now though, any one can become ridiculously famous by making an idiot of themselves online. (Right, and somehow that is a good thing). We’re addicted to those stories. It’s a subtle shift. We used to love stories of the poor boy pulling the stone out of the sword because of the good things he would do. Now we like the story of the idiot with the video where they did something stupid / illicit / funny. And somehow, people gawking or lusting or laughing at you means you belong. That is belonging?
The Christian story is so much better.
If my story doesn’t wind up ending happy after all, there’s a grace there. That’s a wonderful thing. God is not waiting for my arc to complete; His arc is already in motion, already complete. It doesn’t depend on my ability to accomplish it. It simply is.
Archives for June 2013
Distraction
Not all distraction is bad. For instance, binge re-watching the Office while fighting off a toothache? Not a bad distraction at all. Just saying.
Vlad the Disappoint-er
Not quite as threatening as the impaler, but still daunting. I’m tired of being the Disappoint-er. What do I mean by that?
I’m so inclined to say yes. I want to say yes to everything. If you came up to me today and told me about a project you love that you need a hand with, I’d be inclined to think through ways that I could help and then commit, regardless of whether or not I have the time to do it well.
That sounds like a good thing, but it’s actually not. In fact, it’s the worst thing. Because just when you need me most, I’ll fail to deliver. I’ve done this several important times in my life. It has cost me largely in the way people are able (or not) to trust me. And it hurts.
I have to turn over a new leaf. It has to stop. I need to stop saying yes. I have to learn to say, that sounds great and I hope it’s very successful, but it’s just not something I can be a part of right now.
I have no idea how to start doing that, but I feel like it’ll be the most significant thing I ever do if I can learn how to do it.
The things that matter
I’m not certain I know what they are, but I do know that figuring out what they are is tremendously significant. I want to get to the end of each day, look back at what I accomplished, and feel like I accomplished things that were things that mattered.
And it’s hard. Very hard, actually.