Not all distraction is bad. For instance, binge re-watching the Office while fighting off a toothache? Not a bad distraction at all. Just saying.
Vlad the Disappoint-er
Not quite as threatening as the impaler, but still daunting. I’m tired of being the Disappoint-er. What do I mean by that?
I’m so inclined to say yes. I want to say yes to everything. If you came up to me today and told me about a project you love that you need a hand with, I’d be inclined to think through ways that I could help and then commit, regardless of whether or not I have the time to do it well.
That sounds like a good thing, but it’s actually not. In fact, it’s the worst thing. Because just when you need me most, I’ll fail to deliver. I’ve done this several important times in my life. It has cost me largely in the way people are able (or not) to trust me. And it hurts.
I have to turn over a new leaf. It has to stop. I need to stop saying yes. I have to learn to say, that sounds great and I hope it’s very successful, but it’s just not something I can be a part of right now.
I have no idea how to start doing that, but I feel like it’ll be the most significant thing I ever do if I can learn how to do it.
The things that matter
I’m not certain I know what they are, but I do know that figuring out what they are is tremendously significant. I want to get to the end of each day, look back at what I accomplished, and feel like I accomplished things that were things that mattered.
And it’s hard. Very hard, actually.
I’m trying to figure out how to get better at structuring my life. There are several ideas that have been central in my concerns:
- I need to be sure that I’m spending time with my family
- I need to be sure that I’m making time to read good content
- I need to be sure that I’m making time to create
I’m struggling to make these things happen. Some of it is wrapped up in a sense that busy-ness validates who I am (see this post for more). Some of it is wrapped up in an inability to say no to good things that are not primary things. I think/hope some of that will come with maturity. Of course, I guess you gain maturity by learning these hard lessons now.
Anyway, I’m trying to find order and create space, both physically and mentally, to make these priorities happen. “Just say no” isn’t just an anti-drug campaign, I guess.